Epilogue - Moudi's engagement

As noted in the previous posting, the announcement of our bus driver's engagement was the last surprise of the trip. Moudi is an Israeli Arab and we were privileged to admire not only his driving skills (he's only been in this job for 3 years) but also his optimism and sense of hope. At our invitation, Moudi (short for Mahmoud), spoke to our group about his life as a minority citizen. Moudi is very loyal to the State of Israel, grew up among Jews and repeatedly state his hope for peace. "Everyone one is 'B'nei Adam'" he said to me often - we are all children of Adam, one humanity. Everyone is tired of struggle, he would say, we all want peace.

I asked Moudi about his engagement - which happened rather suddenly. Just a week prior he had told Renee that he was not interested in settling down. But while we were away in Eilat, he changed his mind and proposed to his girlfriend (who I believe is a cousin).

Moudi had already built a home. What does that mean? His father had built a house some time ago in an Arab Jerusalem neighborhood. Each of the 4 sons was given a totally empty section of that house, no walls or furniture. Moudi had to literally build it - i.e. put up the walls. A few days ago he asked Renee for some time off so he could buy furniture. That's how she found out he was engaged!

I asked about the rituals of engagement and marriage. Although he is a modern guy, the traditions of his family become very important. First he has to meet with his prospective in-laws. Moudi explained that only his closest family and very closest friends go to that meeting. How many? I asked. About 150 (!)

He does not formally ask for their daughters hand. His father and her father speak and together they negotiate a dowry.

There is also a separate engagement party which Moudi has to pay for. This will be for hundreds of people. And then sometime between 6 months and a year after will be the actual wedding.

I think we all wish we could attend! And we all wish Moudi and his bride to be all the good fortune in the world.